I can't。_082708

大抵上，說拒絕的能力比數年前好一些。
即便這並不是什麼放在秤上能拿來論斤兩叫賣的伎倆，
我也沒有要炫耀的本事，幾百年前就該寫的東西不要再拖了唄。
以下，致那一直沒有搞懂中文要怎麼看的 t 友人。

I always thought that i knew my limit but usually it turned out that
I over-estimate the possibility of accidents.
So when you are over the phone, across the sea,
or just sit right in front of me, look into my eyes,
we all know something is happening in your mind, or mine.
It's a matter of acknowledging,
although very few instincts and intentions are clear.
We are too afraid to ask but eager to see what will lead to at the end.

I always thought I couldn't deny any of your request,
and you knew it better than me.
But this time I said I can't, for a reason that I do not wish to identify.
It's nothing compared to the life-passing-on cliche that
we usually read from TV drama or crap stories.
I still have great trust and love in you, dear Tina,
a different kind of trust and love that you may not understand because we are too blind to sense.
At least I am not ashamed to say I was addicted to you.
Hence when I had to quit,
the only thing I could afford is to entirely separate myself from you, everything about you.
I cannot step back to the cage that I built to bury myself,
even there were several seconds I'd almost ask you to stay with me.

And I wish everything is going well with you, even though we are both lonely,
scared, uncertain, and often tired with lives and mean people.

I've chosen my own road.